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Dating online > 18 years > How to make my boyfriend happy after an argument

How to make my boyfriend happy after an argument

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Every couple has arguments. We feel hurt, embarrassed, anxious, and angry. Here are three things you can do to help show your love and get your relationship back on track after an argument. Heightened levels of stress and anger can minimize our decision making skills, causing us to be more defensive and to say things that can hurt our partners.

SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: When a Man Ignores Your Value, Say THIS To Him

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SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: 3 Magic Words To Fix a Fight

How Do You Make Him Talk to You After a Fight

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Feeling personal or relationship pandemic-related stress? Online therapy now available to help. Schedule your free min consult. Every couple fights. End of sentence. Picture this. You and your partner get into a disagreement about what to do this weekend.

One of you wants to lay low and one of you wants to go out on the town whatever that antiquated statement means to you. Some slammed doors. Feelings are hurt and each of you withdraws into your own corner to lick your wounds.

The main difference between couples who thrive and those who struggle is that the couples who thrive know how to repair.

Sure, all couples fight, but those that know how to repair or make-up will use fights to make their relationship stronger and more connected. They will be able to be more vulnerable with each other.

This is a common thing I hear from couples I work with. Whether because of ego, toxic masculinity or pain, they want their partner to make the first move. Well if both people wait for the other person to go first, that could be a very long standoff. If you wait for your partner to make the first move, you both lose. What you say is not typically as important as how you say it. What do I mean by a healing conversation?

This is a generic term for a conversation that addresses the pain caused by the fight and uses the pain to bring you closer together. There is no one size fits all approach to a healing conversation, but there are some principles that you can use to help guide you in coming back together after a fight.

If the fight is around something bigger like a betrayal , it may require more than one conversation. Think about the scenario mentioned above where a couple has different plans for their shared weekend.

Imagine that the conversation devolved into accusations, blame and criticism. Voices were raised and some unkind things were said. Sure, one person started the escalation, but in the end both lose out.

If you get stuck anywhere in this process, find a couples therapist to help you out. Most of us were not taught how to repair fights in a healing way. Heck, most of us did not have the best examples of what good relationships can be like. Sure, there is a stigma around seeking mental healthcare, but your relationship is worth it. Remember, a divorce or break-up is much more painful and expensive than seeing a couples counselor.

Tom feels passionately about helping people have better relationships. The purpose of this blog is not to provide advice or to take the place of working with a mental health professional.

For more information please visit the homepage. Simple tools to improve your relationship. Free and sent direct to your inbox today! What is a repair? I want my partner to make the first move This is a common thing I hear from couples I work with.

Have a healing conversation What do I mean by a healing conversation? What does that look like? This is a term used by neuroscience researcher Dan Siegel to describe the optimal zone in which we can tolerate having difficult conversations.

Check in with your partner. You both need to be ready to repair for it to work. Take responsibility for your part in it. Ask your partner what they need to hear in order to move forward. If you start off the conversation by taking responsibility for your part in it, you can then check in with your partner and ask exactly what they need to hear to move forward.

They probably have a vastly different experience of the fight than you, but by checking in on exactly what they need to hear you can focus the healing conversation. Repeat exactly what your partner said they need to hear. Even if you disagree with what your partner is asking for, say it anyway. The purpose of this is to become really clear about what was at the bottom of the disagreement for each of you. Then tell your partner what you need to hear. Try not to attack or blame your partner, but explain what was hurtful from your perspective and ask for what you need.

Share your differences as a way to better understand yourself and them. Chances are you and your partner will have had different perspectives, needs and wants from the fight. Instead of using differences to divide you, use them to help bring you closer together.

In summary If you get stuck anywhere in this process, find a couples therapist to help you out. Posted in Couples Counseling and tagged couples counseling , couples therapy , healing conversation , make-up after a fight , repair after a fight.

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7 Things To Do After A Fight With Your Partner

A fight can weaken your relationship, or it can strengthen it — and its impact depends on how you behave afterward. Here are some things you can do after a fight that help you move on and use the conflict to your advantage. You may feel tempted to get in the last word or even punish your partner by making them wait for your forgiveness, but that could make you both unhappy not just in the moment but also in the future. So aim to make up before a fight escalates.

Get expert help with making up with your partner. Click here to chat online to someone right now. Give It Some Time Trying to make up with someone immediately after an argument is never going to work.

It's completely normal — and healthy — for couples to argue. You're two separate people, and you're going to have different opinions sometimes. You might have heard of some of those classic techniques for how to fight fair, like only using statement starting with "I" or trying not to call names. But what you might not realize is that how you act after a fight can be as important to your relationship as what you say in the heat of the moment.

32 Small, Nice Things to Do After a Big Fight

One morning last fall, Kyle Benson , 30, sat in his home office, lost in his work. It might sound silly, says Benson, a relationship coach in Seattle, Washington, but the argument revealed a lot about their relationship and how they handle conflict. Later that night, Benson and his girlfriend, Heather, used five steps recommended by The Gottman Institute to resolve their conflict. The first step, according to Benson, is to discuss how each of you felt during the argument. Benson explains that their cat was sick and elderly, and has been a source of stress for his girlfriend. The second step, says Benson, is to listen with intention. During this step, you and your partner will take turns acting as listener and speaker, he says.

How to Reconnect After an Argument with Your Partner

Fighting, even if it was fighting fair, was for the more incompatible. Fast forward a couple of decades and what can I say? But let me explain …. My parents never fought, so I had good reason to believe that a fight-free relationship was possible. They never said a bad word about each or to each other.

This means taking responsibility for your actions and apologizing for any wrongdoing. Communicate openly with your partner and make sure to be an effective listener.

Feeling personal or relationship pandemic-related stress? Online therapy now available to help. Schedule your free min consult.

This Is the Best Way To Fight With Your Partner, According to Psychologists

Even if you and your partner have come to an agreement, the arguing can really put a damper on things. It might take some time to restore the romance and affection. But if we all gave up after every fight, everyone would end up alone.

SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: How The Silent Treatment After A Fight, Can Impact Your Relationship

So, you had a big fight with your husband or wife. Maybe it was a three-hour screaming match; maybe it was a minute heated discussion. Maybe it was some combination of the two. Either way, it happened. Things were said. Anger erupted.

15 Killer Tips To Make Him Miss You Like Crazy After A Fight

You meet the most incredible guy in your life. For the first few months, your date and your relationship couldn't be more romantic. He drives you crazy and turns your stomach into knots each time you talk, and you start imagining what the rest of your life would look like with him. Then it happens. You have a major argument.

Jun 6, - Disagreements occur in any relationship. The key to making up is circling back to solve the problem and learning the lessons it can teach you.

W hen it comes to relationships , conflict is inevitable. Couples can disagree and, yes, even fight while still showing compassion and respect for each other, according to psychologists. That said, frequent heated and hurtful conflict is certainly not healthy or sustainable, either. You can have conflicts with your partner in a constructive way, and it may actually bring you closer together, according to a paper published by the Society for Personality and Social Psychology.

If you are or ever have been in a relationship, you're probably familiar with what it's like to fight with your partner. It sucks, because you love and care for them so much, but sometimes a fight just needs to happen so the two of you can learn and grow. Nevertheless, after a fight, you might be struggling to find ways to recover and get back to normal.

Conflict is often inevitable. And in our worst moments, even minor miscommunications can trigger full-blown arguments. But the thing about fighting in an otherwise healthy relationship is that — as frustrating as it may feel when it's actually happening — if handled the right way, the resolution can actually bring you closer.

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Comments: 1
  1. Zulabar

    Earlier I thought differently, I thank for the information.

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